5 Reasons Negotiating on Your Own Behalf is Tricky

You've probably heard the adage, "The lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client."

The idea behind that chestnut is the fact that when we represent ourselves in a courtroom or in any negotiation, we're hobbled by several things:

(1) Our EMOTIONS, which get the better of us. Take the owner of a house who tries to save money when he places a sign in the lawn, reading, "For Sale by Owner." True, he has a chance to save up to 6% of the selling price if he's lucky enough to attract the right buyer. But he also risks offending people as he gives the evil eye to those that traipse through his living room, leaving debris from the outside in their path. A Realtor, seeing the same soiling of the listing, might hide his or her concern reasonably well, because in the words of one negotiation consultant, they care, but not "t-h-a-t much." In other words, they have role-distance, proper perspective, where the seller, acting on his own behalf, tends to be too ego involved for his own good.

(2) You're too likely to take setbacks and your counterpart's strategies PERSONALLY, instead of professionally. Same example, and that person who just slimed the carpet gives you a "lowball offer," one that you find "insulting." Instead of ignoring it, or simply saying, "Sorry, that isn't even close," you believe the offering party is "sending you a message of contempt" for your precious property and how you've priced it. It's more likely he's using a ploy, or he's operating from the belief that there's water in everyone's prices, and it's his job to flush it out with a bottom-of-the-barrel offer.

(3) You're likely to be IMPATIENT, wanting to cut to the chase to make a great deal. In negotiations, haste does make waste.

(4) You're SUBJECTIVE. That great car or home you're selling has been a peach, and you expect everyone else to have warm and fuzzy attitudes toward it, as well. Where buyers see every paint chip and bruise, you tend to think these defects are ordinary wear and tear, or worse, that they "add to the charm" of the item, actually increasing its value.

(5) You've seen too few buyers, so you're ignorant about BUYING BEHAVIOR. Many negotiators want to feel that they "bargained you down" to an acceptable asking price. If you deny them a certain amount of haggling, of the open-air, flea-market, swap-meet, or "bazaar's ritual," they'll feel they haven't done their job as prudent buyers and "tough customers." So, distasteful as the negotiation process is to you, buyers expect to engage in it, especially when shopping for cars and homes.

These are just five of the traps you're likely to encounter when you represent yourself, but let me say, they can be managed.

I'm a firm believer that WE CAN REPRESENT OURSELVES BETTER THAN OTHERS CAN, if we follow certain practices, and I'll explore this topic in another article.

Are you looking for "best practices" negotiation, sales, customer service, or telemarketing training? Contact us.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top trainer, conference and convention speaker, and sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant. A frequent expert commentator on radio and TV, he is also the best-selling author of 12 books, more than 1,000 articles and several popular audio and video programs. His seminars are sponsored internationally and he is a faculty member at more than 40 universities, including UC Berkeley and UCLA. Gary brings over two decades of sales, management and consulting experience to the table, with impressive academic credentials: A Ph.D. from USC, an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School of Management, and a J.D. degree from Loyola Law School, his clients include several Fortune 1000 companies..

His web site is: http://www.customersatisfaction.com and he can be seen on CNBC at: http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=417455932# and reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com. His blogs include: YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS! and ALWAYS COLD CALL! at: http://www.alwayscoldcall.blogspot.com

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