Using Empathy To Negotiate

Many communication gurus have suggested that empathy is a very useful tool to try to persuade someone. We use empathy all the time. Its is a powerful communication tool that is underused and often misunderstood.

According to dictionary.com, empathy is identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

It is the process of understanding and appreciating of the other party's emotions and positions. To put in simpler terms, it means to "put yourself into his/her shoes". This is definitely easier said than done. Putting yourself into his/her shoes require you to ignore all the issues that you have for the time being. Being focused on looking from his/her point of view.

These are 4 steps which you can take to improve your results:

1) You must first be aware of the other party's emotions. How is he feeling about the deal? Angry? Sad? Disappointed?

2) State your own perception of that emotion. "I think you are upset that we are not willing to cut the price..."

3) Make that emotion/feeling legitimate. "I can totally understand why you are upset..."

4) Give him affirmations of your cooperation. "I am definitely devoted to working with you and making sure this deal will work out. Let's see how we can help each other to achieve our goals."

Instantly, you will be able to build rapport and trust with the party you are negotiating with. In a relationship-based negotiation, empathy is a very important tool to use.

Are you using enough of it?

Jens Thang

Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Want to learn more about negotiation techniques and build your own arsenal of negotiation strategies? Avoid the pain of having to do terrible deals. Jens shares strategies, tactics, techniques, pictures, insights, podcasts, videos, interviews, ideas and stories about NEGOTIATIONS!

Jens is a member of International Association for Conflict Management (IACM).

Visit his site at http://www.thenegotiationguru.com

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