5 Reasons Negotiating on Your Own Behalf is Tricky

You've probably heard the adage, "The lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client."

The idea behind that chestnut is the fact that when we represent ourselves in a courtroom or in any negotiation, we're hobbled by several things:

(1) Our EMOTIONS, which get the better of us. Take the owner of a house who tries to save money when he places a sign in the lawn, reading, "For Sale by Owner." True, he has a chance to save up to 6% of the selling price if he's lucky enough to attract the right buyer. But he also risks offending people as he gives the evil eye to those that traipse through his living room, leaving debris from the outside in their path. A Realtor, seeing the same soiling of the listing, might hide his or her concern reasonably well, because in the words of one negotiation consultant, they care, but not "t-h-a-t much." In other words, they have role-distance, proper perspective, where the seller, acting on his own behalf, tends to be too ego involved for his own good.

(2) You're too likely to take setbacks and your counterpart's strategies PERSONALLY, instead of professionally. Same example, and that person who just slimed the carpet gives you a "lowball offer," one that you find "insulting." Instead of ignoring it, or simply saying, "Sorry, that isn't even close," you believe the offering party is "sending you a message of contempt" for your precious property and how you've priced it. It's more likely he's using a ploy, or he's operating from the belief that there's water in everyone's prices, and it's his job to flush it out with a bottom-of-the-barrel offer.

(3) You're likely to be IMPATIENT, wanting to cut to the chase to make a great deal. In negotiations, haste does make waste.

(4) You're SUBJECTIVE. That great car or home you're selling has been a peach, and you expect everyone else to have warm and fuzzy attitudes toward it, as well. Where buyers see every paint chip and bruise, you tend to think these defects are ordinary wear and tear, or worse, that they "add to the charm" of the item, actually increasing its value.

(5) You've seen too few buyers, so you're ignorant about BUYING BEHAVIOR. Many negotiators want to feel that they "bargained you down" to an acceptable asking price. If you deny them a certain amount of haggling, of the open-air, flea-market, swap-meet, or "bazaar's ritual," they'll feel they haven't done their job as prudent buyers and "tough customers." So, distasteful as the negotiation process is to you, buyers expect to engage in it, especially when shopping for cars and homes.

These are just five of the traps you're likely to encounter when you represent yourself, but let me say, they can be managed.

I'm a firm believer that WE CAN REPRESENT OURSELVES BETTER THAN OTHERS CAN, if we follow certain practices, and I'll explore this topic in another article.

Are you looking for "best practices" negotiation, sales, customer service, or telemarketing training? Contact us.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top trainer, conference and convention speaker, and sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant. A frequent expert commentator on radio and TV, he is also the best-selling author of 12 books, more than 1,000 articles and several popular audio and video programs. His seminars are sponsored internationally and he is a faculty member at more than 40 universities, including UC Berkeley and UCLA. Gary brings over two decades of sales, management and consulting experience to the table, with impressive academic credentials: A Ph.D. from USC, an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School of Management, and a J.D. degree from Loyola Law School, his clients include several Fortune 1000 companies..

His web site is: http://www.customersatisfaction.com and he can be seen on CNBC at: http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=417455932# and reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com. His blogs include: YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS! and ALWAYS COLD CALL! at: http://www.alwayscoldcall.blogspot.com

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5 Tips When Negotiating For Yourself

In a recent article I mentioned that there are five obstacles to negotiating on your own behalf. We're inclined to get too emotional and to react to offers personally instead of professionally. Add to this the fact that we're more likely to spoil the deal with impatience, a lack of objectivity, and inexperience in negotiation encounters, and you bring to life that adage about lawyers that represent themselves in court.

"They have fools for clients," or so conventional wisdom says.

Despite the fact that negotiating for your own account is tricky and perilous, most of us will be doing quite a lot of it during our lives.

When we walk into car dealerships or call leasing companies, we're negotiating. When we rent or buy housing, we're doing the same, whether Realtors are part of the mix, or not.

And anyone who has children can tell you that negotiations with them begin in gestation, when you circumscribe travel plans, dedicate space to your new family members, and select their names.

I happen to be somewhat iconoclastic in believing that negotiating is an acquired taste, it's something at which we can become connoisseurs, providing we get into the kitchen, roll-up our sleeves, and concoct deals for ourselves.

Here are five tips for mastering the psychology of negotiating on your own behalf:

(1) Do your research. Who is your counterpart? What's his or her title and latitude of authority? Is this person a peer, a fellow business owner, homeowner, or someone on par with you, or is she a flunky, someone who can say maybe or no, but not yes? If you're not sure, ask up front. Because you are a PRINCIPAL you're a heavyweight and you have every right to determine whether the person in the ring with you is in your class.

(2) You don't have to say yes during the negotiation. Always give yourself an "out," saying you need to check with your lawyer, your spouse, or even your "team," back at headquarters, to get their input and feedback. I've dealt with CEO's that do this all the time, and sure enough, they may want to do business with me but they line their ducks up to gum me to death on the details.

(3) Make sure you have viable alternatives in your pocket. Mentioning that you're going to receive bids from others, or that you need to make a good arrangement or none at all can alert your counterpart to the fact that you're not NEEDY.

(4) Don't be worn down by so-called "tiger teams" or negotiating committees. If you're facing more than a single person at a time, invite them to chat among themselves and then to appoint a single individual, invested with deal making authority, to conduct business.

(5) Set a deadline for each meeting. Tell your counterparts, "I have an hour, so let's see what we can do." Deadlines create efficiency and there is pressure to consummate a deal before the sands of time run out.

Most negotiation consultants will tell you that principals tend to make poor negotiators because they care too much about making a deal, not wasting time, and about not offending the other party.

If you look at negotiation as a game, a challenge, and as a fact finding opportunity and learning experience, instead of as a must-win situation, you'll care, but not too much.

Are you looking for training or guidance with your negotiations, sales, customer service or telemarketing? Contact us for the best-practices in these fields.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top trainer, conference and convention speaker, and sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant. A frequent expert commentator on radio and TV, he is also the best-selling author of 12 books, more than 1,000 articles and several popular audio and video programs. His seminars are sponsored internationally and he is a faculty member at more than 40 universities, including UC Berkeley and UCLA. Gary brings over two decades of sales, management and consulting experience to the table, with impressive academic credentials: A Ph.D. from USC, an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School of Management, and a J.D. degree from Loyola Law School, his clients include several Fortune 1000 companies..

His web site is: http://www.customersatisfaction.com and he can be seen on CNBC at: http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=417455932# and reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com. His blogs include: YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS! and ALWAYS COLD CALL! at: http://www.alwayscoldcall.blogspot.com

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Love My Alliances, Hate Negotiation

Everything in life is a compromise; everything in life is a negotiation. We all seem stifled by the word and implications that surround negotiating. Yet what most of us do not realize is that we have been negotiating since we were born. From the time we wanted a bottle or refused napping our education in negotiation began. In fact, research for this article illustrates that 43% of the American workforce changed jobs since 2006. And, the divorce rate in the United States hovers at over 53%.

However, we become increasingly befuddled by negotiation. We hold strong beliefs that negotiation is meant to be a battle. We begin negotiations on the defensive and seek to end them in a similar manner. The most vital idea to comprehend about negotiation is its definition. Negotiation is nothing more than an exchange of ideas and values between two or more parties with different interests. Conceptually negotiation is a communication and critical thinking exercise inducing creative problem solving. This article seeks to address ways in which you can negotiate and still move away with your credibility and friendships in tact.

The best concept for understanding negotiation is to indicate what it isn't. We first need to debunk the myths.

Myth: Negotiation is about winning and losing. The myth of win-lose is ancient. Validation of winning is not bequeathing more concessions than the other party. One simply needs to be concerned with the amount of take. This denotes loss.

Myth: Negotiation is about power All people in a negotiation have power. If two sides are negotiating each as an equal amount of power, one desires something from the other. Yet negotiation is not so much about power, it is about honesty or lack thereof. Power stems from the side that enables it. Donald Trump by nature believes he has power due to wealth and notoriety, yet if he desires something from someone else the power shifts. The larger concern is not relinquishing power to the opposing side.

Myth: Negotiation is about chicanery In reality, negotiation is about resolving an issue where both sides obtain equal value by amicably and honestly agreeing to terms. However, negotiation is similar to chess, strategies are used and sometimes held so that each party gains more than they requested. Rather than lie, most negotiators are honest, they simply do not fully disclose information.

Myth: All negotiations are about prices and are sales related Nothing is further from the truth. Negotiations stem from all walks of life: from dating, to deciding upon a movie to noise decibels. Negotiating establishes boundaries and how far each side allows another within them.

Perhaps the most understood principle of negotiation is a requirement to plan. Most often, negotiations fail due to improper procedures, paperwork or misread issues. Planning is the first and vital step in every negotiation. Each party should strategize to define the motives of each side, goals that might be addressed, time frames and players. Research affirms that in 73% of most negotiators are unprepared. This step is vital to assist in moving forward. Good planning and comprehension help to avoid miscues and maintain proper and efficient conversation. Exemplars of good negotiation techniques are barely surprised by new information.

Negotiations are mixed motive situations. Each side arrives with a variety of goals and objectives- even timeframes. What appears urgent to one; is apathetic to another. It is imperative that issues be immediately addressed. Most importantly, the issues must be documented so all parties agree without a misunderstanding. A foppish issue should not resurface at a latter time. The more detailed the documentation the easier it becomes to facilitate conversation. Once agreed to, timetables should be established so as not to languish on any one issue.

Negotiation is information and relationship dependent. Information is crucial to negotiation. The data need be specific; it is easier to comprehend and complete issues. Typically a tactical ploy to assist concessions, most data is not displayed. Negotiators should then decifer the most imperative issues first do that all needed data is disclosed making for effective conversations. Coincidentally, conversations are more placid when parties are familiar with each other. Particular interest is implicitly displayed since familiarity with both parties shares a common interest- "saving face". Dignity is a traditional process. Whether in business or amongst friends, all desire to maintain honor, especially with familiarity of the parties. As the clich?tates familiarity breeds content; the more familiarity with someone the easier the negotiation!

Egos and Communication. Another crucial component for negotiation success is to check you baggage and your ego at the door. Good negotiators know they are purposeful and do not advertise their success. A negotiation is concerned with mutual agreement not wins and losses. Keeping egos in check helps alliances and other desired relationships.

Additionally, all negotiators need reminders for ears and eyes and not mouth. Too often negotiators tend to spoil alliances by speaking too much. Peter Drucker once stated, "Communication is often about what is not stated". Listening enables all to understand issues, allow for issues that might go unstated and strategically enable the "opponent" to move first. The alliance builders understand the vitality of listening, it is a practiced art form.

Compromise, Commitment and Conclusion. Negotiation would not exist if not for the power and the reciprocity of compromise. Concessions enable negotiators to agree on small things to assist in declaring small victories. Accommodations negate foolish issues and streamline discussion. Once decided, agree to commitment and document so as not to rehash. Trivial details take time away from other important issues. It is more important to move forward then review unnecessary data. Once the issue is complete, move forward or conclude, it allows less time for pondering decisions.

To allay any fears of negotiating, it is best to align this business tactic with athletics, it is a learned format not born. Admittedly, there exist individuals that love to converse and banter yet negotiation is not an easy skill. It takes patience, persistence and proper listening to understand the issues. Negotiation is a part of everything we do in life, almost every day. It is a skill that combines crucial critical thinking, reciprocity, and professional communication. It is not easy to win friends and influence decisions in negotiation, yet if we understand motives, create a thorough plan and expect the unexpected, each negotiation we have becomes easier and more effective. Negotiation increases our perception, our patience and our resolve to maintain business relationships.

Drew Stevens PhD
http://www.gettingtothefinishline.com

Drew Stevens Phd works with organizations to maximize sales in less time. Drew can assist your organization with sales or customer service. Order his latest book now, Split Second Selling available on Amazon.com or at his website, http://www.gettingtothefinishline.com/products.php

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