Negotiating is a Part of Life

Have you ever thought about how often you negotiate each day and with whom? You would be amazed to discover that you spend almost your whole day negotiating in one form or another.

It is becoming increasingly important to have effective negotiation skills in the many roles you find yourself in a day, such as being the child of someone, parent, spouse, friend, being a hobbyist, professional, consumer, mediator, consultant; the list can go on. It is possible to identify six general categories within which you use negotiation skills.

First of all when you bargain about the price of a product or service, or an intended course of action; settling differences of opinions, proceedings, outcomes or understandings; altering existing contracts or transactions, either formally or informally; agreeing on a goal or desired outcome; arriving at comfortable terms of cooperation and working together; and finally finding a compromise if all else fails.

A further six stages of negotiation can be recognized: preparation; discussion for information gathering; regrouping; negotiation for resolution; reaching consensus; close. Each stage employs all or some of the following means of preparation. In depth preparation, brainstorming, identifying and agreeing upon the key issues, and having a precise written statement of these issues is crucial. This includes not just the obvious areas but many: What if? questions.

Other questions to ask include:

What is the main problem?
Who is concerned with it?
What would happen if it did not exist?
What happens now that it does exist?
Who currently gains from it?
Who currently loses as a result?

Making use of Cartesian logic questions gives another perspective:

What would happen if we did?
What would happen if we did not?
What would not happen if we did?
What would not happen if we did not?

To assist in this, a mismatch personality type is an essential member of the brainstorming group. This person will balance any overly optimistic view points. At this stage it is also important to obtain levels of negotiating authority. Each member of the negotiating team needs to have clearly defined roles and be an expert in the assigned role.

Set Outcomes: for the optimum result and for a realistic result

Areas to investigate and questions to ask:

What is the best we can hope for?
What is the worst?
At what point do we back off?
Can we phase out any of our desired outcomes?
What about the outcomes of the other party?
Set the negotiation range
Establish your best alternative to negotiated agreement

Set General Outcomes

What do we want? Not want?
How do we want it? Not want it?
Where do we want it? Not want it?
When do we want it? Not want it?
What will it be like? What will it not be like??
How will we know when we have got it? Not got it?

The negotiation range is the difference between the minimum that you will accept, and the maximum you want. Often there will be a negotiation range overlap.

The best alternative to negotiated agreement is made up of getting to yes; if a negotiated settlement is not possible, then what; at what point do you walk away; there is always an option, even if it is not a pleasant one; keep negotiating but be prepared with a hierarchy of best alternative.

If a stalemate is reached, always go back to the last point of agreement, and take smaller incremental steps to reach the next point of agreement.

Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and Corporate trainings, and in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Businesses, Sporting groups and Educational Institutions in Australia. Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria is the author of the well-received eBook: "Hypnosis De-hyped." Her website provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

http://www.connect4results.com

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

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